Today is a sad day. Everything feels like I am having a bad nightmare. That's because today I learnt from the too early death of my friend Florian Hufksy.
I am sitting here and do not really know what to write. I keep on thinking about the great times we spent together. The time we started programming when we were twelve. The time we spent learning BASIC. All the times you knew more than me and could teach me a thing or two. I remember our geek talks. How we would discuss latest games. How we lost contact and how we met again. I am thinking about how sorry I am for not having met you often enough. I keep on trying to understand what drove you that far. How you could just end it all. More and more memories come to my mind, like the moment when you showed me one of your projects, Super Mario War. The moments we had playing video games together. All those moments, all that time, I miss you my friend. You were a genius, always a step ahead, not only of me, but seemingly the whole world. I can't stop thinking about your brilliant ideas and how you always finished your projects. You were a real hacker, a real genius, a person trying to make the world a better place, a person who will be missed, not only by me.
You were a genius and I always respected you, not only as a hacker, but as a beloved friend. Why did we not spend more time together? Why did you have to go? Why do I have to write this now, sitting here in my chair with tears in my eyes? And all those memories come up again and again. There is so much more that comes to my mind, but I can't keep on writing, it just hurts too much.
The world is a sad place today. I am sad. I am mourning the too early death of my beloved friend, Florian. You will always have a special place in my heart.
I will never comprehend how someone can intentionally make such a choice.
ReplyDeleteI find it quite disturbing to read his Twitter feed at http://twitter.com/oneup, and see the entries from August of this year saying " i've ended up in hell and i need to find a way to get out of here. " and " i wish there was somebody, anybody to talk to in person right now. i'm really in an emergency situation and drown under all that anxiety. ".
Please remember this: Everyone needs a friend once in a while. Everyone needs to feel like they contribute or are helping someone. Think about the people you know who could use a call or an email. Maybe go out for a cup of coffee. Please remember...
ReplyDeletewow. sorry to hear about the loss of this friend of yours. Reading the tributes on his blog makes it even worse. mental illness, like all silent illnesses, can be deadly if not treated carefully. And results of this illness are as severe and painful as cancer. I wish he could have gotten treatment sooner.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
ReplyDelete